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Happy Valentine's Day

Excuse me ma’am…Oops my bad, I’m sorry…..I’m just gonna slide right past you. This is all I heard yesterday while in Walmart. It was like Cupid threw up hearts and they landed everywhere. All these love-struck people were putting me in somewhat of an irritable mood. Part of me was excited because I was actually buying a gifts for my Valentine but the other part of me was a little sad because my Valentine didn’t have the means to buy me an extravagant gift because…..My son is only 7.
Today’s Valentine’s Day and I woke up thinking about the fact that I haven’t been in a relationship on this day since I was like 16. I head into my sons’ room to wake him for the day and I suddenly shake off all the negative energy and get excited about our dinner date tonight. As soon as he opens his eyes, he tells me Happy Valentines Day and I think he got just as excited as I was. I give him the biggest bear hug and shower him in kisses.
I can’t deny the fact that it would’ve been nice to have some f…
Recent posts

When The Mourning Comes

What is pain? The dictionary defines pain as “physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury.” I’m sure they’re right with that definition but I know first-hand what pain feels like. Have you ever mourned someone who was still alive? That is pain! It’s almost indescribable and it hurts far more than one could ever imagine. To say goodbye to a person or relationship you thought you’d have for the long haul brings a hurt like none other.

Mourning someone who’s still alive and grieving over what use to be doesn’t go away overnight. It sticks with you. It rides your back day in and day out. It’s the song on the radio that reminds you of that person you use to share everything with. It’s staying awake at night while everyone else is asleep, trying to figure out when things started to fall apart. It’s a memory that hits you randomly and you just let the tears fall because none of it makes sense.When the mourning comes, there’s nothing you can do but take things one minute at a…

Trapped

I sat here thinking about what to blog about for quite some time. I went back and forth on how personal I was ready to get with yall. When my mind wonders, I’ve been told it’s never a good thing. I think long and hard sometimes and when I get to that point, it’s often hard to bring myself back to reality. So crap, what do I do? I decided to listen to my heart so here it goes…
My memory is pretty sharp. I remember a lot of things from my childhood. Some I care not to remember and some memories I wish I could relive all over again. I believe that no one has to be a product of their environment. Situations in our past have some impact on the people we become. I have this one memory of falling asleep in the backseat after a family outing one day and being too lazy to walk in the house. I remember my dad picking me up and carrying me in the house. By this time, I had already woken up because of all the commotion but decided to keep my eyes close anyway. He carried me to my bedroom and kisse…

The Struggle Is Real

Today’s been a rough day. More so financially than anything else. I feel like I’m robbing Peter to pay Paul. I take pride in trying to juggle everything on my own, but I swear sometimes I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I don’t do anything out of the ordinary or blow my money on foolishness and I’ve been trying to cut cost everywhere! I stopped getting my nails done, no more waxing, buying hair or even going to my favorite store (DD'S DISCOUNTS) in efforts to save. It all adds up right? In this moment I feel like a failure. In this moment I feel like I’m living to pay bills and nothing else.
Starting a new job is always a little tough getting adjusted to a new pay schedule. It can take weeks to get back on track. Shit is very real over here though and I feel like I’m drowning. I’m not even sure what needs to happen differently to get me out of this rut. I’m doing the best I can and still falling short. I pray everything works itself out. It always does but…

Surviving

Ok, ok ,ok,I’m sure the majority of you all watch the “Surviving R Kelly” docuseries. I literally sat there with my mouth on the floor the entire time. Personally, I believed the events these ladies described indeed transpired because their stories had a few common denominators. To see the hurt in their eyes and the sadness tremble in their voice was a bit much for me. My mind even wandered back to an interview I saw a while ago where K Michelle briefly spoke on her brief relationship with Kelly. If I’m not mistaken, she did an interview on the talk show “The Real.” She was very professional in her approach while answering questions about Kelly but, you could see the tears swelling in her eyes as the show was closing that segment. So damn tragic. The big kicker for me was during the docuseries Kelly’s incarcerated brother made the statement along the lines of everyone has a preference and Kelly’s preference was young girls. HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE BRUH….Like where do they do that at?

I …

911

Have you ever been stuck in traffic and all of a sudden hear emergency vehicles out of nowhere? Lights in your rear view and sirens screeching through the air all at once. Your first instinct is always to get the hell out of the way. I’ve always thought to myself…Where ever their going, I sure hope they get there in time. Reality is, I know that isn’t always the case and sometimes it’s too late.
I remember that day like it was yesterday. I decided to meet up with my girlfriend from high school and we took our kids to an indoor bounce house for a play date. Bentley was almost 3 at the time. I’ve always been that mom that never let her child do anything because she was afraid something bad would happen. My son is the most precious thing to me and as his mother, it’s my job to protect him at all cost. I can admit though- sometimes I take it overboard.
The indoor bounce house was designed for children of all ages. Talk about a germ fest….ughhhh. I watched Bentley bounce up and down with h…

My Body

I remember being in the fifth grade and being bigger than many of the kids in class.Ever since I could remember I was always the chubby one. I was always the one who had to sit in the front seat if there were five of us going somewhere like dude wtf. I never felt like I had an unhealthy relationship with food. At times I would over eat when I was bored or stressed but didn't really think much of it. I was doing what everyone did at some point or another right? 
Once I hit puberty things were growing like wild fire and I couldn’t understand why me. I found myself my senior year of high school going under the knife for a breast reduction while everyone else was shopping for cute Sadie Hawkins dresses. I remember feeling happy yet sad it was finally done. I wasn’t in any pain for once in my life after healing and I could finally do normal things again like play tennis. However, I thought to myself, what is it that I have to offer now? I had always felt like my chest were a big part of…

Training

Hey boo! It’s officially one week into the new year and so far, things are off to a great start. As I mentioned in my last blog, I made one of the biggest decisions ever and changed career fields. The transition has been pretty smooth. The people I work with are nice and I’m excited to really get into my groove and blow this thing out the water. One day at a time.
Starting over is never an easy thing to do to say the least but at least in this aspect I’ve got people supporting me. With my new job I have a trainer and I’ve read so much literature on the position, frequently asked questions and how to navigate through a few different software. I’d say their setting me up for success but it’s only so much they can train me on. When I interviewed people in the past for positions I didn’t care how smart they were on paper, if they got in front of me and was a complete dud, their resume was out! You can train the job but, you can’t train personality and I’m sure that’s what landed me this p…

That's a Wrap!

It’s the last day of the year and as I sit here snuggled up on my couch getting my Carrie Bradshaw on, I begin to reflect on my 2018 journey. I’m super proud of myself and the lessons I’ve learned. Life is tough. There’s no way to sugar coat it but I know without a doubt I’m a lot tougher. This year has brought many tears, laughs, and blessings. I’m extremely grateful.
I began 2018 ending a relationship but, what I gained in returned was priceless. I’m not perfect by any means. Each day I add a little more tax to my value. Everyone isn’t fit to go to the next level with you and that was one of the hardest lessons to get through. That relationship hit a dead end and because of that I began focusing more on myself which I neglected to do while I was in it. That glow up was something real. I got myself back into church and therapy. I began living for me.
I gave birth to my second baby “Blogging With Breezy.” It was a vision I’d had for so long but too afraid to start. When the Lord says …

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! Love is definitely in air. The smile on my sons face this morning sure did make my entire day. I hope everyone got what they wanted this holiday season but is also reminded of the real reason for the season.
Last night before bed, my son stated he was sad. My heart fluttered a little as I asked why. He then vocalized how he was sad because he wasn't able to get me anything to for Christmas. I then told him that it wasn't gifts that made me happy. It's being loved, seeing his smiling face, being his mother, being around family and friends, and just being able to provide for him the way I have this year. He then gave me the biggest kiss and we said our good-nights.
My son knows who Santa really is and we celebrate the birth of Jesus while focusing on the spirit of Christmas overall. The gifts are just extra! My parents did an amazing job making sure that both my son and I had an amazing day. I appreciate the fact that they see my struggle and try t…

Tis The Season

Christmas is probably my absolute most favorite time of year. There’s just something about the brisk air, assorted lights, music, and closeness of family and friends. My son and I really enjoy going to my parents’ house to decorate the tree, eat Lebanese desserts and laying around in our pajamas all day. I’ve always said, “the whole world changes at Christmas.”
With that being said, it can also be a very depressing time for some who aren’t as blessed as we are. It’s during these times we have to remember that some people out here are facing major battles. Some are lonely with cold aching hearts. Some have allowed the season to be all about finances and the material possessions they don’t have – causing them to slip into a sunken depression.
It’s also during this time that families decide to bicker with one another and act bat shit crazy. Family will always be family and no one has the ability to pick and choose who they’re related to. Sometimes you have to let things go! People will be…

How I Began Blogging

They say the hardest part about doing anything is getting started. Imagine where you’d be if you just got started on that project you’ve been wanting to do around the house. If you started that diet you were supposed to start at the beginning of the year or enrolled in that class you’ve been wanting to take. Most times the only thing stopping you is you yourself. Get out of your own way and make room for your blessings. I had to give myself this same pep talk when I decided I wanted to begin blogging.
Ever since I could remember, I’ve always loved to write. I was the kid in high school who got excited about research papers and faked sick when it was time for a math test 😊 I’ve always known I was someone who had a lot to say and whenever I opened my mouth, I had peoples undivided attention. The same went for my writing. People have always told me “you’re really good with words.” One day it just hit me. As I was leaving work, my eyes caught the names on the front door of the dental off…

I Love You

Darkness sure falls early these days. I swear there isn’t enough hours in a day. As I tuck my son into bed, we say our prayers and kiss each other goodnight. The refreshing smell of shower gel lingers on his skin and reminds me in that split second that he’s still my baby no matter how old he gets. I inhale as I press my cheek against his and exhale all the days worries away. As I turn around to head for my room, I hear his innocent voice shout “I love you.” I smile, the way I always do with him and respond - “I love you more.” The projection and authority in his statement lets me know without a doubt that he means every word.
As I climb into bed, I feel a little emotional and my mind starts to wonder. This week has been one for the books to say the least. I begin to think about past relationships and how I felt when I heard the words I love you from previous partners. Thinking back, I never felt moved when hearing it. Like the words uttered from their lips went in one ear and out the…

Mom, Mommy, Mama!

Mom” is the title I wear with the most pride. As a single mother I’d have to say, my son is the most important thing to me. God chose me specifically to be his mother and for that I’m extremely grateful. As his mother it’s my duty to be his protector, chef, teacher, best friend and so much more. I couldn’t imagine anyone else doing things for him that I should be doing as his parent.
I remember when I found out I was pregnant. My heart dropped. There I was barely able to take care of myself and about to become a mother. When I looked in my sons eyes for the first time, I made him a vow that through blood, sweat and tears I’d do my best by him. I’m the one that caters to him when he’s sick, I’m there for every performance, every game, every tear and every smile. At times I have to tell my friends no because I’m a mother first. There’s times when I sacrifice my own happiness, time, funds and needs because he comes before anything else.
Some mothers have yet to grasp that concept. They’d…