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Just So You Know

Time is such a precious thing. As a single mom in my late 20s, I’m very selective in how I choose to spend my time. When it comes to dating, there’s a few things I’d like men to understand. Dating a single mom isn’t a science. It’s actually common sense. Below are some of the most important things I need my future prospect to grasp before asking me out…

We’re A Package Deal-  My son is my world. You can’t have me without having him. It’s been the two of us for the last seven years. He’s extremely bright and picks up on bull fairly quickly  so I feed off of him as well. Not only are you dating me, but you’re dating us.  If you can’t see yourself taking family trips, having family game night, or watching cartoons then we’re not for you honey.

Your Intentions Must Be Clear –  As we’re getting to know each other understand that your actions must match your words. To be honest I am not interested in friendships being this close to 30. I have work friends, family friends and patient friends. That’s more than enough. If the goal isn’t to build a foundation and become husband and wife then what are we doing? If you’re looking for a friend that’s totally ok, just don’t look my way. Say what you mean and mean what you say

My Time Is Valuable -  I’m so many things to so many people so please don’t waste my time. Understand that I shell out more than $1500 a month in bills alone so I will not entertain a “wassup” text. Bruh, no! If I make plans to go on a date with you understand that it probably took me a few days to find a sitter, my body is different since giving birth so it more than likely took me 2 days to find something that makes me feel sexy and confident on top of spending time with someone I barely know over my child is a big deal. Be considerate and make it happen. 

I’ll Perform a Background Check on You – Safety is a big deal. Some of y’all  ladies may look at me sideways when I say this but remember you’re on šŸ˜Š – I choose not to date felons. That’s not the role model I prefer to have around my child at such an impressionable age or myself. When I think of a power couple I don’t see it being a boss lady and a felon. As a felon I could more than likely never have you on my lease… I understand everyone has a past but that’s not something I’d like to deal with; along with the obvious major red flags that people look for when doing background checks. Understand that a lot of things out there are public record as well. I will not be your ride or die chick. I ride with my seatbelt on at all times! 

I’m Not Looking For a Father For My Child – I’ve been the primary role of mommy and daddy for a while. My son does have a relationship with his father. At times I wish he had a stronger presence in his life but that’s not the hand we were dealt. As my partner you’d be more of a role model and cheerleader to him. Stepfathers are awesome. It takes a strong man to pick up where another man has left off. I respect my stepfather so much for this. He never tried to replace my father when he married my mother and I respected him for that. He was always present at every performance, when I got in trouble, my first heartbreak, and taught me how to drive. Today, he’s the best grandparent my son could have and that’s what I want for my son.

My Child Will Always Be My Priority – My son will always be my priority. I’d imagine a man would look at a woman differently if her children weren’t right? I will more than likely break dates at times to attend to his needs, I may be a little frustrated when we do see each other because between work and motherhood I sometimes get a little flustered. If he has a game, parent teacher night, or just want to hang out with me, know that I will choose him first in these scenarios.

Emotional Connections-   My child will feed off of the energy you pass to me. If you’re treating me well, got me smiling from ear to ear, and doing all the right things we’ll both feel the difference. If you’re becoming a headache to me, stressing me out and no longer making me happy he’ll feel that as well. This isn’t something to be confused with a simple disagreement.

Kiddie Introduction – My child isn’t the plague so you won’t ignore him. When the time comes I’d like to be the one to make that decision on when it's right. 

Dead Presidents – As a single parent understand that I won’t go out and buy you a game system. Every dollar counts with me. If you plan to date me understand I have real bills at this address. If you’d like to be spoiled, spoil me and help out financially so I have more money to do things like that with. Nothing is free. Fill my tank up with gas on Sunday so I don’t have to stop during the week and touch the pump, pay a phone bill, help with groceries….something. Understand that I’ve been handling things up to this point alone so your dollars aren’t needed but appreciated.


  1. Love this breezy very well written! Keep up the great work booski

  2. I love this. It speaks volumes❤


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