Skip to main content

Trust The Process


                 Maleek Berry is playing in the background and I realize it’s 7:10AM. “Sh**, Sh*, Sh**!” I scream as I jump out from under my pink bed sheets. I have to get my son off to school and I’m working at the office that’s thirty minutes away today. My shift starts at 8AM I make it to the bathroom and jump in the shower, cold water and all. I could care less at this point. I’ve got to go. It’s Monday so  traffic  should be decent on I-26. I’ve just got to hustle to the interstate.
                I feel horrible because I’m having to rush my son to eat his breakfast in the car and I can tell he’s frustrated. We didn’t even say our morning prayer before he got out of the car. Crap Breezy, how did you over sleep? Having the last few days off really spoiled me I guess. Maybe it was those three glasses of wine I had last while having dinner with Lisa. It was great getting some adult girl time in with a new friend. I made dinner for her and her daughter and we ended up chatting the night away as our children played until their hearts were content. I make it to work with three minutes to spare. If dentistry or writing doesn’t work out for me I’m applying to NASCAR.
                Even though I got a hectic start to my morning, I never pictured my life would be the way it is now. I remember when I first found out I was pregnant with my son, I was in complete shock. Afraid that I would ruin his life and fearful I could never be half the mother my mother was to me, I trembled with guilt. After giving birth to him I remember not being able to afford diapers or childcare and having my sister take on the financial load for the both of us. I appreciated the money his father sent to support him, but It was barely enough to keep my head above water along with my minimum wage job. I think back to getting my first studio apartment and sleeping on an air mattress with my baby for months working at a call center trying to make a life for him when he was just a few months old. Sleepless nights, breathing treatments, random seizures and ER visits along with multiple test for months. I became very drained physically and emotionally.
            You must trust the process. Everything I went through was a set up for the blessings I have now. I’m not financially where I want to be but I’m in a much better place. My days aren’t spent in a cubical anymore. I’ve managed pediatric offices and I treat patients. Our little townhouse is comfortable in size and drips of love from the front door to the back. My little man is healthy and hasn’t had a seizure in years. He’s been cleared from this neurologist and has been playing sports since he was 3. I’m very grateful and I get teary eyed when I look how far I’ve come. It’s so easy to think about the things you don’t have, or what’s going wrong but when you stop and look at how far you’ve come that in itself is a life changer. Everything happens for a reason. The good, the bad and the ugly all play a part of your happy ending. Just trust the process. 


Popular posts from this blog

Why Are You Single?

As I'm sitting at work chatting with coworkers about life, I get asked the dreadful question. Breezy, why are you single? I wish I had some profound text book answer for them or hell, five dollars for every time I was asked by people in general. The answer is simple. I just wont settle! Being a single mother dating in 2018 is as complicated as trying to read Mike Tysons lips with your tv muted.   Although I’ve struggled with self-image in the past, I’m in a much better place mentally and physically and know my worth. That alone is a powerful weapon. I often look at my friends and family members and think to myself….am I really the only one who doesn’t have a significant other? When will it be my season? As quickly as those thoughts creep into my head I try to shake them away with positive affirmations. See, I grew up in the church and understand that there’s power of life and death in the tongue. My prayers for my future husband are very detailed and I know deep down, the ma
Where has the time gone? I can't believe it's been three years since I launched Breezy Monreaux dot com. This blog means the world to me. I always feel safe and have a sense of calm when I'm here, almost like AA for writers. This is my sacred place. For three years I've had a judgment-free zone full of support and inspiration from others.  I began blogging at a very dark time in my life. My days were long and I found myself in an emotional rut while simultaneously battling anxiety and depression. I'd like to believe that today, I'm in a much better place with room for growth. Last night, I found myself skipping through blog entries I've written in the last three years. As I  revisited entry after entry, I became filled with an immense amount of emotion. My eyes began to water and my physical being began to shake. Tears of joy, sadness, and hope all wrapped up into one.  Tears of joy for all that I've accomplished mentally and physically. Tears of sadness

Cloudy With A Chance of Broke

This glass of Walmart wine is giving me life right now. Bougie on a budget is my lifestyle. Since all the water shelves are cleared at Walmart, I settled on this sweet little Moscato. Funny how southerners go straight for bread and water when a storm is approaching. When my son and I lived in Colorado and was expected to get snowed in; sadly all I stocked up on were movies and food. It was nice to be snowed in spending time with the most important person in my life for a day or two. Good times. “Three pairs of underwear for myself…three pairs of underwear for Bentley” I mumbled as I folded our undergarments and placed them in our black rolling suitcase. “Mama, the water is too hot” Bentley yells from the shower across the hall. This is only his tenth time interrupting me within the last five minutes. Why do kids wait until you’re doing something important to need you? Like man, could you wait at least 2 minutes while I get my thoughts together and pack our entire life in a suitcase f