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If This Is It...



As I begin to think about the future, there’s so much uncertainty. Of course I have tons of dreams and goals and through blood, sweat and tears I’ll do my very best to accomplish them. I was taught that exercising faith is a must in life. I’ve always had a problem living in the moment so I’d like to take a second and do just that.

Like the gospel song says “Lord if I ten thousand tongues, I could not praise you for what you’ve done.” Even though some days are a struggle and I have no clue how I’ll make it to the next, I’m grateful for the things I have. My son’s in good health and I’ve made a home for him that’s  filled with love. All of his jeans are a husky size so that reminds me that I’m able to provide him with meals daily. He’s the only child so he gets what he wants for the most part. I’m grateful I’m able to not only give him the things he needs but the things he wants as well. When I come home and flip the light switch; my little townhome lights up and I’m grateful for the jobs I have that allows me to pay the bills. My wallet may not be bulky but our clothes are clean, we have the necessities of life and each other. Who knows if I’ll find my soulmate, but If it’s in my cards to rock this thing out solo, I’m happy to say I know what it’s like to love and give someone every part of me and I have no regrets. If I never bare another child I’m ok with that as well. Bentley brings me so much joy and he’s the reason for my being. We understand each other and  our bond is indescribable.

My faith tells me to keep going and all my desires will eventually be my reality. However, my mind starts wondering and I can’t help but think... what if this is it?  What If I’m meant to do this thing called life alone, what if I was only meant to be a mother to one child, what if I have the  career  I’m supposed to  have and I’ll be doing this same thing ten years from now? If that’s the case and how the cookie crumbles, I’m ok with that and I’ll still be forever grateful. There’s people out there who wish they were in a position such as mines and long to have the experiences I’ve had in life thus far so if this is it...that’s ok!

Comments

  1. Your too awesome and i dont think God will let you bare life alone. There is soo many men out here who aren't fit to be a king. God is protecting you. If you knew what goes on behind those couples who smile and post the happy image you'd be surprised. Keep doing you boo!

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