It's 5 o'clock Somewhere

Five, six, seven, eight, nine, a thousand-Rent. Lights, car, car insurance, groceries, phone, gas etc. My God I don’t know how I do this all by myself at times. Last night, and the night before I got absolutely no rest. I slept but didn’t rest one bit. Worrying and stressing about these darn bills has given me a headache that just won’t quit. I swear, not working during a hurricane we didn’t even have has been a major blow for me financially.

It’s time for me to get out of the house and start my day. Benny came home with a cough yesterday and I’m really praying it goes away because again, Missing work will be a major blow. I head to his room to awake him from his peaceful sleep. His nose is crusted over with gonk. I gave him meds last night before putting him down for bed and I guess now it’s just a waiting game to see if they actually work. I run my hand across his forehead to see if he’s feverish and he seems to be fine. I intentionally head out the house without his football gadgets because I’m not taking him this afternoon. Practice mysteriously changed to 5:15 instead of 5:30 and I’ve been making it work but it’s so hard for me to get across town on the days I work so far. Yesterday we got to practice at 5:40! He’s pissed because he hates being late and so am I because I feel like I’m doing the best I can and sometimes still fall short. Today I’m coming home to cook, clean and get my mind right.

On the ride to work I decided to put on some Ball Greezy to take my mind off things. His song Since You Been Away starts to echo through the speakers and I don’t know if it’s the beat, or the beautiful sunrise hitting my face as I drive across The Ravenel but at that moment I just let the tears fall. I’m so tired physically and emotionally. I’m trying to keep my faith that everything will be ok but it’s so hard at times. I haven’t been this down in a while. I’m ready for 5 o’clock to be here already so I can head back home and try again tomorrow. There’s about 90 more days in this year and part of me wants to dig deep and give it all this black girl magic on the inside of me and the other part wants to throw in the towel. Dig deep honey and keep your head up.

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