Skip to main content

It's 5 o'clock Somewhere


           Five, six, seven, eight, nine, a thousand-Rent. Lights, car, car insurance, groceries, phone, gas etc. My God I don’t know how I do this all by myself at times. Last night, and the night before I got absolutely no rest. I slept but didn’t rest one bit. Worrying and stressing about these darn bills has given me a headache that just won’t quit. I swear, not working during a hurricane we didn’t even have has been a major blow for me financially.
           It’s time for me to get out of the house and start my day. Benny came home with a cough yesterday and I’m really praying it goes away because again, Missing work will be a major blow. I head to his room to awake him from his peaceful sleep. His nose is crusted over with gonk. I gave him meds last night before putting him down for bed and I guess now it’s just a waiting game to see if they actually work. I run my hand across his forehead to see if he’s feverish and he seems to be fine. I intentionally head out the house without his football gadgets because I’m not taking him this afternoon. Practice mysteriously changed to 5:15 instead of 5:30 and I’ve been making it work but it’s so hard for me to get across town on the days I work so far. Yesterday we got to practice at 5:40! He’s pissed because he hates being late and so am I because I feel like I’m doing the best I can and sometimes still fall short. Today I’m coming home to cook, clean and get my mind right.
           On the ride to work I decided to put on some Ball Greezy to take my mind off things. His song Since You Been Away starts to echo through the speakers and I don’t know if it’s the beat, or the beautiful sunrise hitting my face as I drive across The Ravenel but at that moment I just let the tears fall. I’m so tired physically and emotionally. I’m trying to keep my faith that everything will be ok but it’s so hard at times. I haven’t been this down in a while. I’m ready for 5 o’clock to be here already so I can head back home and try again tomorrow. There’s about 90 more days in this year and part of me wants to dig deep and give it all this black girl magic on the inside of me and the other part wants to throw in the towel. Dig deep honey and keep your head up.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Why Are You Single?

As I'm sitting at work chatting with coworkers about life, I get asked the dreadful question. Breezy, why are you single? I wish I had some profound text book answer for them or hell, five dollars for every time I was asked by people in general. The answer is simple. I just wont settle! Being a single mother dating in 2018 is as complicated as trying to read Mike Tysons lips with your tv muted. Although I’ve struggled with self-image in the past, I’m in a much better place mentally and physically and know my worth. That alone is a powerful weapon. I often look at my friends and family members and think to myself….am I really the only one who doesn’t have a significant other? When will it be my season?
As quickly as those thoughts creep into my head I try to shake them away with positive affirmations. See, I grew up in the church and understand that there’s power of life and death in the tongue. My prayers for my future husband are very detailed and I know deep down, the man that h…

Party of 2

Wow, she’s absolutely gorgeous. Each strand of her naturally curly hair sits perfectly on her head. Her eyes are as dark as a summer night, and her skin smooth as butter. I can’t help but notice the most beautiful baby girl I’ve ever laid eyes on; as I’m sitting on the sidelines at my sons football practice. This baby girl was a mini queen in every sense of the word. I noticed how well dressed she was as her mother pushed her gracefully in her turquoise Graco stroller. Following behind the two were big bother and dad I assumed. The perfect little family.
As they all walked by, my heart began to flutter and my eyes became dewy. I begin to think of the future and If I’ll get the chance to become a mother again. My son constantly ask for a bother or sister as if babies are something we can go shopping for at our local neighborhood market. His innocence is one of the things I enjoy most about him though. Let’s break this down a little. I’m in my late twenties with a seven year old, diagno…

Cloudy With A Chance of Broke

This glass of Walmart wine is giving me life right now. Bougie on a budget is my lifestyle. Since all the water shelves are cleared at Walmart, I settled on this sweet little Moscato. Funny how southerners go straight for bread and water when a storm is approaching. When my son and I lived in Colorado and was expected to get snowed in; sadly all I stocked up on were movies and food. It was nice to be snowed in spending time with the most important person in my life for a day or two. Good times. “Three pairs of underwear for myself…three pairs of underwear for Bentley” I mumbled as I folded our undergarments and placed them in our black rolling suitcase. “Mama, the water is too hot” Bentley yells from the shower across the hall. This is only his tenth time interrupting me within the last five minutes. Why do kids wait until you’re doing something important to need you? Like man, could you wait at least 2 minutes while I get my thoughts together and pack our entire life in a suitcase fo…