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Showing posts from January, 2019

The Struggle Is Real

Today’s been a rough day. More so financially than anything else. I feel like I’m robbing Peter to pay Paul. I take pride in trying to juggle everything on my own, but I swear sometimes I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I don’t do anything out of the ordinary or blow my money on foolishness and I’ve been trying to cut cost everywhere! I stopped getting my nails done, no more waxing, buying hair or even going to my favorite store (DD'S DISCOUNTS) in efforts to save. It all adds up right? In this moment I feel like a failure. In this moment I feel like I’m living to pay bills and nothing else.
Starting a new job is always a little tough getting adjusted to a new pay schedule. It can take weeks to get back on track. Shit is very real over here though and I feel like I’m drowning. I’m not even sure what needs to happen differently to get me out of this rut. I’m doing the best I can and still falling short. I pray everything works itself out. It always does but…

Surviving

Ok, ok ,ok,I’m sure the majority of you all watch the “Surviving R Kelly” docuseries. I literally sat there with my mouth on the floor the entire time. Personally, I believed the events these ladies described indeed transpired because their stories had a few common denominators. To see the hurt in their eyes and the sadness tremble in their voice was a bit much for me. My mind even wandered back to an interview I saw a while ago where K Michelle briefly spoke on her brief relationship with Kelly. If I’m not mistaken, she did an interview on the talk show “The Real.” She was very professional in her approach while answering questions about Kelly but, you could see the tears swelling in her eyes as the show was closing that segment. So damn tragic. The big kicker for me was during the docuseries Kelly’s incarcerated brother made the statement along the lines of everyone has a preference and Kelly’s preference was young girls. HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE BRUH….Like where do they do that at?

I …

911

Have you ever been stuck in traffic and all of a sudden hear emergency vehicles out of nowhere? Lights in your rear view and sirens screeching through the air all at once. Your first instinct is always to get the hell out of the way. I’ve always thought to myself…Where ever their going, I sure hope they get there in time. Reality is, I know that isn’t always the case and sometimes it’s too late.
I remember that day like it was yesterday. I decided to meet up with my girlfriend from high school and we took our kids to an indoor bounce house for a play date. Bentley was almost 3 at the time. I’ve always been that mom that never let her child do anything because she was afraid something bad would happen. My son is the most precious thing to me and as his mother, it’s my job to protect him at all cost. I can admit though- sometimes I take it overboard.
The indoor bounce house was designed for children of all ages. Talk about a germ fest….ughhhh. I watched Bentley bounce up and down with h…

My Body

I remember being in the fifth grade and being bigger than many of the kids in class.Ever since I could remember I was always the chubby one. I was always the one who had to sit in the front seat if there were five of us going somewhere like dude wtf. I never felt like I had an unhealthy relationship with food. At times I would over eat when I was bored or stressed but didn't really think much of it. I was doing what everyone did at some point or another right? 
Once I hit puberty things were growing like wild fire and I couldn’t understand why me. I found myself my senior year of high school going under the knife for a breast reduction while everyone else was shopping for cute Sadie Hawkins dresses. I remember feeling happy yet sad it was finally done. I wasn’t in any pain for once in my life after healing and I could finally do normal things again like play tennis. However, I thought to myself, what is it that I have to offer now? I had always felt like my chest were a big part of…

Training

Hey boo! It’s officially one week into the new year and so far, things are off to a great start. As I mentioned in my last blog, I made one of the biggest decisions ever and changed career fields. The transition has been pretty smooth. The people I work with are nice and I’m excited to really get into my groove and blow this thing out the water. One day at a time.
Starting over is never an easy thing to do to say the least but at least in this aspect I’ve got people supporting me. With my new job I have a trainer and I’ve read so much literature on the position, frequently asked questions and how to navigate through a few different software. I’d say their setting me up for success but it’s only so much they can train me on. When I interviewed people in the past for positions I didn’t care how smart they were on paper, if they got in front of me and was a complete dud, their resume was out! You can train the job but, you can’t train personality and I’m sure that’s what landed me this p…