Today’s been a rough day. More so financially than anything else.
I feel like I’m robbing Peter to pay Paul. I take pride in trying to juggle
everything on my own, but I swear sometimes I feel like I have the weight of
the world on my shoulders. I don’t do anything out of the ordinary or blow my
money on foolishness and I’ve been trying to cut cost everywhere! I stopped
getting my nails done, no more waxing, buying hair or even going to my favorite store (DD'S DISCOUNTS) in efforts to save. It all adds up right? In this
moment I feel like a failure. In this moment I feel like I’m living to pay
bills and nothing else.
Starting a new job is
always a little tough getting adjusted to a new pay schedule. It can take weeks
to get back on track. Shit is very real over here though and I feel like I’m
drowning. I’m not even sure what needs to happen differently to get me out of
this rut. I’m doing the best I can and
still falling short. I pray everything works itself out. It always does but, that
doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck at the moment. I don’t like to fail. I’m supposed to be able
to keep it all together. I’m supposed to hold my head high and walk by faith. Instead,
I’m here with tears in my eyes feeling defeated. I was at least supposed to
wait until I got in the shower to cry. Mission fail. I get it that my situation
may not be the worst. Someone out there
is dealing with much more than I am at the moment however, I think I’m allowed
to release my thoughts and feelings as well. Tomorrow will be better.
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