The Struggle Is Real

Today’s been a rough day. More so financially than anything else. I feel like I’m robbing Peter to pay Paul. I take pride in trying to juggle everything on my own, but I swear sometimes I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I don’t do anything out of the ordinary or blow my money on foolishness and I’ve been trying to cut cost everywhere! I stopped getting my nails done, no more waxing, buying hair or even going to my favorite store (DD'S DISCOUNTS) in efforts to save. It all adds up right? In this moment I feel like a failure. In this moment I feel like I’m living to pay bills and nothing else.

Starting a new job is always a little tough getting adjusted to a new pay schedule. It can take weeks to get back on track. Shit is very real over here though and I feel like I’m drowning. I’m not even sure what needs to happen differently to get me out of this rut. I’m doing the best I can and still falling short. I pray everything works itself out. It always does but, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck at the moment. I don’t like to fail. I’m supposed to be able to keep it all together. I’m supposed to hold my head high and walk by faith. Instead, I’m here with tears in my eyes feeling defeated. I was at least supposed to wait until I got in the shower to cry. Mission fail. I get it that my situation may not be the worst. Someone out there is dealing with much more than I am at the moment however, I think I’m allowed to release my thoughts and feelings as well. Tomorrow will be better.

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