The Struggle Is Real

Today’s been a rough day. More so financially than anything else. I feel like I’m robbing Peter to pay Paul. I take pride in trying to juggle everything on my own, but I swear sometimes I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I don’t do anything out of the ordinary or blow my money on foolishness and I’ve been trying to cut cost everywhere! I stopped getting my nails done, no more waxing, buying hair or even going to my favorite store (DD'S DISCOUNTS) in efforts to save. It all adds up right? In this moment I feel like a failure. In this moment I feel like I’m living to pay bills and nothing else.

Starting a new job is always a little tough getting adjusted to a new pay schedule. It can take weeks to get back on track. Shit is very real over here though and I feel like I’m drowning. I’m not even sure what needs to happen differently to get me out of this rut. I’m doing the best I can and still falling short. I pray everything works itself out. It always does but, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck at the moment. I don’t like to fail. I’m supposed to be able to keep it all together. I’m supposed to hold my head high and walk by faith. Instead, I’m here with tears in my eyes feeling defeated. I was at least supposed to wait until I got in the shower to cry. Mission fail. I get it that my situation may not be the worst. Someone out there is dealing with much more than I am at the moment however, I think I’m allowed to release my thoughts and feelings as well. Tomorrow will be better.

Comments

Why Are You Single?

As I'm sitting at work chatting with coworkers about life, I get asked the dreadful question. Breezy, why are you single? I wish I had some profound text book answer for them or hell, five dollars for every time I was asked by people in general. The answer is simple. I just wont settle! Being a single mother dating in 2018 is as complicated as trying to read Mike Tysons lips with your tv muted. Although I’ve struggled with self-image in the past, I’m in a much better place mentally and physically and know my worth. That alone is a powerful weapon. I often look at my friends and family members and think to myself….am I really the only one who doesn’t have a significant other? When will it be my season?
As quickly as those thoughts creep into my head I try to shake them away with positive affirmations. See, I grew up in the church and understand that there’s power of life and death in the tongue. My prayers for my future husband are very detailed and I know deep down, the man that h…

Party of 2

Wow, she’s absolutely gorgeous. Each strand of her naturally curly hair sits perfectly on her head. Her eyes are as dark as a summer night, and her skin smooth as butter. I can’t help but notice the most beautiful baby girl I’ve ever laid eyes on; as I’m sitting on the sidelines at my sons football practice. This baby girl was a mini queen in every sense of the word. I noticed how well dressed she was as her mother pushed her gracefully in her turquoise Graco stroller. Following behind the two were big bother and dad I assumed. The perfect little family.
As they all walked by, my heart began to flutter and my eyes became dewy. I begin to think of the future and If I’ll get the chance to become a mother again. My son constantly ask for a bother or sister as if babies are something we can go shopping for at our local neighborhood market. His innocence is one of the things I enjoy most about him though. Let’s break this down a little. I’m in my late twenties with a seven year old, diagno…

Cloudy With A Chance of Broke

This glass of Walmart wine is giving me life right now. Bougie on a budget is my lifestyle. Since all the water shelves are cleared at Walmart, I settled on this sweet little Moscato. Funny how southerners go straight for bread and water when a storm is approaching. When my son and I lived in Colorado and was expected to get snowed in; sadly all I stocked up on were movies and food. It was nice to be snowed in spending time with the most important person in my life for a day or two. Good times. “Three pairs of underwear for myself…three pairs of underwear for Bentley” I mumbled as I folded our undergarments and placed them in our black rolling suitcase. “Mama, the water is too hot” Bentley yells from the shower across the hall. This is only his tenth time interrupting me within the last five minutes. Why do kids wait until you’re doing something important to need you? Like man, could you wait at least 2 minutes while I get my thoughts together and pack our entire life in a suitcase fo…

Blogging With Breezy

Search This Blog