The Struggle Is Real

Today’s been a rough day. More so financially than anything else. I feel like I’m robbing Peter to pay Paul. I take pride in trying to juggle everything on my own, but I swear sometimes I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I don’t do anything out of the ordinary or blow my money on foolishness and I’ve been trying to cut cost everywhere! I stopped getting my nails done, no more waxing, buying hair or even going to my favorite store (DD'S DISCOUNTS) in efforts to save. It all adds up right? In this moment I feel like a failure. In this moment I feel like I’m living to pay bills and nothing else.

Starting a new job is always a little tough getting adjusted to a new pay schedule. It can take weeks to get back on track. Shit is very real over here though and I feel like I’m drowning. I’m not even sure what needs to happen differently to get me out of this rut. I’m doing the best I can and still falling short. I pray everything works itself out. It always does but, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck at the moment. I don’t like to fail. I’m supposed to be able to keep it all together. I’m supposed to hold my head high and walk by faith. Instead, I’m here with tears in my eyes feeling defeated. I was at least supposed to wait until I got in the shower to cry. Mission fail. I get it that my situation may not be the worst. Someone out there is dealing with much more than I am at the moment however, I think I’m allowed to release my thoughts and feelings as well. Tomorrow will be better.

Comments

Why Are You Single?

As I'm sitting at work chatting with coworkers about life, I get asked the dreadful question. Breezy, why are you single? I wish I had some profound text book answer for them or hell, five dollars for every time I was asked by people in general. The answer is simple. I just wont settle! Being a single mother dating in 2018 is as complicated as trying to read Mike Tysons lips with your tv muted. Although I’ve struggled with self-image in the past, I’m in a much better place mentally and physically and know my worth. That alone is a powerful weapon. I often look at my friends and family members and think to myself….am I really the only one who doesn’t have a significant other? When will it be my season? As quickly as those thoughts creep into my head I try to shake them away with positive affirmations. See, I grew up in the church and understand that there’s power of life and death in the tongue. My prayers for my future husband are very detailed and I know deep down, the ma

Cloudy With A Chance of Broke

This glass of Walmart wine is giving me life right now. Bougie on a budget is my lifestyle. Since all the water shelves are cleared at Walmart, I settled on this sweet little Moscato. Funny how southerners go straight for bread and water when a storm is approaching. When my son and I lived in Colorado and was expected to get snowed in; sadly all I stocked up on were movies and food. It was nice to be snowed in spending time with the most important person in my life for a day or two. Good times. “Three pairs of underwear for myself…three pairs of underwear for Bentley” I mumbled as I folded our undergarments and placed them in our black rolling suitcase. “Mama, the water is too hot” Bentley yells from the shower across the hall. This is only his tenth time interrupting me within the last five minutes. Why do kids wait until you’re doing something important to need you? Like man, could you wait at least 2 minutes while I get my thoughts together and pack our entire life in a suitcase f

If This Is It...

As I begin to think about the future, there’s so much uncertainty. Of course I have tons of dreams and goals and through blood, sweat and tears I’ll do my very best to accomplish them. I was taught that exercising faith is a must in life. I’ve always had a problem living in the moment so I’d like to take a second and do just that. Like the gospel song says “Lord if I ten thousand tongues, I could not praise you for what you’ve done.” Even though some days are a struggle and I have no clue how I’ll make it to the next, I’m grateful for the things I have. My son’s in good health and I’ve made a home for him that’s filled with love. All of his jeans are a husky size so that reminds me that I’m able to provide him with meals daily. He’s the only child so he gets what he wants for the most part. I’m grateful I’m able to not only give him the things he needs but the things he wants as well. When I come home and flip the light switch; my little townhome lights up and I’m grateful f

Blogging With Breezy

Search This Blog