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When The Mourning Comes

What is pain? The dictionary defines pain as “physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury.” I’m sure they’re right with that definition but I know first-hand what pain feels like. Have you ever mourned someone who was still alive? That is pain! It’s almost indescribable and it hurts far more than one could ever imagine. To say goodbye to a person or relationship you thought you’d have for the long haul brings a hurt like none other.

Mourning someone who’s still alive and grieving over what use to be doesn’t go away overnight. It sticks with you. It rides your back day in and day out. It’s the song on the radio that reminds you of that person you use to share everything with. It’s staying awake at night while everyone else is asleep, trying to figure out when things started to fall apart. It’s a memory that hits you randomly and you just let the tears fall because none of it makes sense.  When the mourning comes, there’s nothing you can do but take things one minute at a time. It’s funny how long forever really last. To hear the same person tell you they love you yet cause a hurt like this is one big contradiction.

Things won’t be this way forever. Eventually the phone will ring and you’ll send the call to voicemail.  You’ll look up and realize that so much time has gone by and you’ve enjoyed the time alone. You’ll appreciate the time you got reconnect with your very own self and figure out what it is you want out of relationships and what you won’t for stand for again.

As crazy as it sounds, there’s someone out there praying they get the chance to meet you. Everything that wasn’t good enough for the one who caused your mourning will bring someone else so much joy. There’s levels to this and there’s no fast forward button to save you heartache. You’ve got to push your way through it. You’ve gotta smile when you feel like crying and keep pushing when everything in you tells you, you can’t make it without them. When the mourning comes, keep your head up because there’s nothing wrong with finding out that you’re not meant for someone. Better sooner than later right?

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