Hey guys! It’s
been a minute since I sat down to put my thoughts on paper. I feel like there’s
so many moving parts to life right now, and I’m doing my best to keep up. My
mind is on overload. On a positive note, I’m feeling much better this week than
I did last week. Last week I was a complete mess. I was so stressed out. I’m
sure I sat in traffic and cried a few times.
I’ve been told “You’re one of the strongest people I know” for a very long time, by so many people. I agree with them on most occasions. I feel when people label me this way, it prevents me from being able to show them anything other than my strong self in the future. Since so many people view me in that light, it creates a large group of people in my mind that I can’t show raw emotion in front of. I feel I can’t go to these people with my problems because they’re going to view me as weak. This in return creates situations where I’m crying at stop lights because I’m stressed and don’t want to appear weak in front of anyone, so I hold everything in.
With May being Mental Awareness month it’s a coincidence that I started the month off feeling like I’m losing it. I’ve been very open in the past about the relationship I’ve had with anxiety and depression years ago, and how I’ve made it my priority to never revisit that point. Last week was pretty close though. I was mentally and physically tired. It was even harder knowing that no one was going to check up on me because “I’m one of the strongest people they know.” So, there I was drowning in my own tears and fighting to put a smile on in front of my son. At one point he came up to me and gave me the biggest hug and kiss without saying a word. We’re close so he knew I was struggling and needed a pick me up. I love that boy so damn much!
The one piece of advice I can give you is CHECK ON YOUR STRONG FRIENDS. Sometimes we don’t have all the answers and need someone to vent to. Strong people need help as well, which is why every superhero has a sidekick. As a single mom, I have to say, the one person that looks after me daily is my son. To him, I’m a hero but he has no idea he’s mine. He sees so much of what I go through and he’s still an amazing kid and I’m so grateful to have him.
I’ve been told “You’re one of the strongest people I know” for a very long time, by so many people. I agree with them on most occasions. I feel when people label me this way, it prevents me from being able to show them anything other than my strong self in the future. Since so many people view me in that light, it creates a large group of people in my mind that I can’t show raw emotion in front of. I feel I can’t go to these people with my problems because they’re going to view me as weak. This in return creates situations where I’m crying at stop lights because I’m stressed and don’t want to appear weak in front of anyone, so I hold everything in.
With May being Mental Awareness month it’s a coincidence that I started the month off feeling like I’m losing it. I’ve been very open in the past about the relationship I’ve had with anxiety and depression years ago, and how I’ve made it my priority to never revisit that point. Last week was pretty close though. I was mentally and physically tired. It was even harder knowing that no one was going to check up on me because “I’m one of the strongest people they know.” So, there I was drowning in my own tears and fighting to put a smile on in front of my son. At one point he came up to me and gave me the biggest hug and kiss without saying a word. We’re close so he knew I was struggling and needed a pick me up. I love that boy so damn much!
The one piece of advice I can give you is CHECK ON YOUR STRONG FRIENDS. Sometimes we don’t have all the answers and need someone to vent to. Strong people need help as well, which is why every superhero has a sidekick. As a single mom, I have to say, the one person that looks after me daily is my son. To him, I’m a hero but he has no idea he’s mine. He sees so much of what I go through and he’s still an amazing kid and I’m so grateful to have him.
Comments
Post a Comment